The groom's guide to wedding planning

bride and groom outside being showered in confetti Credit: Sarah Rook


Matthew Shaw is founder and creative director at sauveur. a renowned event planning and management company based in London. Here, Matthew shares his groom's guide to wedding planning...

More often than not, the bulk of wedding planning lands up being the work of the bride with the groom being delegated select tasks but, wedding planning should be the work of a team and there may also be two grooms involved in the planning. Today's grooms are often much more involved with all aspects of the planning, something we very much encourage!

Work out the work
Wedding planning can often fall on one person for a number of reasons. To inspire harmonious wedding planning, I always suggest that the couple map out what needs to be done and then work out where each other's interests lie and where you can help each other out. This is often your first big 'team' project together so it's helpful to divide everything up evenly and think through what areas of planning are most of interest. There's always a few that no one wants to do so divide them up so the work is shared. My main advice for grooms here is to get involved and anticipate! Happy planning involves making suggestions and thinking ahead. Don't assume anything will be done and certainly don't assume that your partner will do everything.

Family communication
Weddings often bring together two families with the groom representing one of them. Providing the link to your family and ensuring their questions, requests, and thoughts are managed is a crucial role in the process. Families love to get involved and this can sometimes place pressure on the planning. You can provide a helpful filter of what does and does not need to be discussed together and, alternatively, you could also volunteer to chat through some things with your partner's family to help ease the load.

bride and groom walking away from camera hand in hand on field
Credit: Sarah Rook


Getting inspired
You will find more often than not that you do have likes and dislikes and an idea of how you want your wedding to look! I always suggest a shared Pinterest board between the two of you so you can put all your ideas together. This is then a helpful tool for you to share with your suppliers so they can understand the look and feel of your wedding.

If you're struggling for inspiration, don't restrict yourself to the usual wedding imagery. Have a think about your favourite restaurants or bars, these can be great starting points to work out what you do and don't like and you can go from there.

Tying it all together
Managing the work and planning process is one of the most important elements. I often suggest that if a groom is less keen on other areas of the planning that this is a key area where they can support. Two heads is always better than one so having someone oversee the checklist of what needs to be done can be very helpful. You can then both have regular check-ins on progress and work out what you may need to prioritise.

Similarly, as you start confirming the details for your wedding day you will need to start formalising this in the schedule. When we are producing events we dedicate one person to the schedule so they have eyes on everything. The same goes for couples. If you are not working with a planner I suggest that one of you manages the schedule and ensures that all the details are collected from each supplier so you can be sure that your day will all come together as planned.

Guest experience
This is our number one planning item and is the basis of all events we produce. Ultimately, how your guests feel and how they are looked after will create a lasting impression. If the groom's partner has looked after a number of elements I often suggest the groom gets fully immersed in the guest experience.

Start by mapping out your guests' journey throughout the day. How do they arrive, what might they need at this point, and how do they move between different locations. Ensuring your guests are well informed and don't have to hang around for too long will be hugely appreciated. The smoother the day the fewer questions you and your wedding party will have to field which will improve everyone's experience of the wedding.

As you are working through your guests' experience, have a think if there are any simple touches you can add. Think flip flops for the dancefloor or a special moment when you can hand around your favourite drink. These little moments you create for guests can go a long way.

Last minute preparations
As the wedding day draws nearer, it's important to remember some of your key on-the-day responsibilities as groom. First and foremost, you have a speech to write! I usually suggest this is done 1-2 weeks prior to the wedding. This will ensure your speech is fresh and has not been overworked. It will also allow to you include some comments on planning the wedding together.

You should also ensure that you communicate with your groomsmen and that you go through the wedding schedule and their roles. The more information your groomsmen have, the more they can help you. The wedding party is very important on the big day as they will help you look after your guests, but also look after the two of you! Share any thoughts or concerns with them in advance so they can help keep an eye out and ensure the day runs smoothly.

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